


Max Landis' Life

by Lord_Kristine



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Byzantine, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:16:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Kristine/pseuds/Lord_Kristine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about Max Landis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Max Landis' Life

Max Landis was sitting under a baobab tree when he came up with a brilliant idea. He had been writing a script of some kind, but he promptly forgot what he had been in the middle of saying when the aforementioned idea dawned on him. He stood up boldly, flinging his papers to the side, and marched across the African savannah. The sun danced across his rainbow hair, and his impeccable attire was tossed to and fro by the wind, which was at his command. He whipped out his cell phone and called his most trusted friend, explaining the intricate details of his magnificent plot.  
***  
Having flown for several hours in an invisible jet (which he owned for some reason), Max Landis arrived in Mexico with a cheerful air. He greeted his most trusted friend, who was waiting outside a chapel that also served as a hideout for druglords who sold cocaine and marijuannas and milk of magnesia. He slipped into a purple suit and marched up to the altar, giving a glamorous smile.  
"Is everything ready?" he asked.  
"Yes," his most trusted friend affirmed, "We brought the Mary Sue you asked for."  
Max Landis froze. His eye twitched in agitation.  
"Most trusted friend, I did not ask for a Mary Sue."  
"You didn't?"  
"No! I specifically stated that I wanted to marry a polar bear."  
"Well, what am I supposed to do with this Mary Sue?"  
His most trusted friend pointed to Rey, the protagonist of the new Star Wars movie. She waved at Max Landis.  
"Send her to the pit of despair," Max Landis commanded, "I want a polar bear."  
Rey tore off her veil with unbridled rage.  
"AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!"  
Max Landis shrugged.  
"I would rather be united in holy matrimony with a large land predator."  
Rey screamed and changed into her true form: a dewback. She lowed in fury and charged at Max Landis, who pulled out a lightsaber and why are you still reading this?


End file.
